She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the day after is always just damage control
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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