I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
