when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
