We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
