we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
