My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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