ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He kissed a someone with a penis
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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