Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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