I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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