I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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