i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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