My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
