Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
