i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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