dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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