DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
