i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize