I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I cut my penus on the lid.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
either way he was missing a nipple.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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