I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
