Are we in a gay sports bar?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
