remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Bring me that man meat
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
