I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
