Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
