Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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