feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
