Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
