I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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