I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Damn victory sex feels great
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
