He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
