If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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