Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
