I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
