I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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