I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize