Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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