you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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