for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
