Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
