summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
