My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize