a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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