Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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