Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
