I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
