Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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