Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
