The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
