Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
