So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
