How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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