So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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