Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
