Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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