I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize