I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
