did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
jump out the window naked night went bad
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