just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
