Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.