not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Watching her eat just hurts me
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
