the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
His nipple licking is glorious
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