So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
