i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
